Tomorrow I will have lunch with some new girlfriends. We've all only known each other for a little over a year. We are different ages, live in different areas, and have very different jobs. I have never met their families, been to their houses or even know their birthdays. But we have one thing in common that ties us together and shapes our lives. We each wanted children but couldn't have them.
We found each other through the magic of the internet, realized we lived in the same metro area, and had a desire to meet other women like ourselves. We get together once a month and talk, laugh, and sometimes a few tears are shed. But mostly, we just enjoy that we can be ourselves, support one another and simply share some common experiences.
Being part of this group is something that I think we each appreciate, but we never wanted to be a member of this group. In fact, all of us spent lots of time and money trying to avoid it. We each endured the pain and heartache of our childlessness before we met each other. We found each other 'after the fact' and now we share our stories of suffering and trials but also of recovery and healing.
When we're together we don't have to worry about having to answer stupid or hurtful questions. (ie Do you have kids? Why don't you just adopt?) We aren't afraid to talk to each other about our pain, our fears, our feelings. We don't have to defend our decisions or our emotions to each other. We just accept one another as a member of a unique club that none of us ever wanted to join. I'm thankful for these women and look forward to our time together. They give me something that other people in my life aren't always able to give me despite their best intentions; understanding.
After healing and working through the grief of being childless, I just knew in my own childless heart that I wanted to help others who were walking the same path I had endured in the past. I didn’t want anyone else to feel alone and that there was no one else who understood their feelings, their pain.